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Food for Thought: Give others a chance to treat you well

This is good food for thought for your weekend as you spend time with family and friends.

There is a balance to be struck in close relationships, between accepting the other person as they are and instructing them on how you are to be treated. It is important to forgive little lapses in attention and thoughtfulness, but at the same time, you should also make it clear that you are worth attention, that you expect thoughtfulness and that you are deeply worthy of love.

Do not walk through life bruised and wounded, taking each little thing to heart, always injured and hurt by the slightest thing. People are far too distracted and most social oversights and slights are really just their responses to anxiety and pressure. In these times, you must teach them how to act.

Today, I have an assignment for you. Today, I wish for you to observe yourself as you relate to other people and compare what you say and do outwardly to how you feel inwardly. And this is particularly important in your relationships that are difficult or in which you feel slighted, in relationships of some importance to you.

If you find yourself dismissing and then yearning, you should become aware of this and then correct it. If you say, "That’s all right, go ahead without me," and then feel hurt when you are taken up on this offer, you must take responsibility for this. How much better to actually ask for what you want, to say, "Would you mind waiting a moment for me?" This gives the other person the opportunity to know what consideration you would truly like. It instructs them on how to treat you and gives them the chance to actually treat you in well. Do not blame others if they are unable to read your mind and instead respond to your words and your manner.

Watch yourself today Are you bowing your head and withdrawing when you might be lifting your chin and stating what it is that you want? Are you walking around feeling bruised and injured, even though you have not expressed to anyone what it is that you want and need? These are old habits from your days as a powerless child, to hope and yearn for attention, while truly expecting nothing, feeling worthless and unloved.

Right now, stand tall. Feel the glow in your center. See that spark of youness there and let it begin to glow, brighter and brighter. Glow from your core, filling yourself with the presence of you. Glow all over with you, with that wonder that is you, with your full presence in this moment of being. And if you care to, you may also open up the top of your head and fill yourself with your higher presence, to help that light of youness to grow even larger. Let it grow and glow until you are fully you, expressed large, you in your beauty and wonder.

And now, hold your head high as you interact with others. Treat them with thoughtfulness and consideration, yes, but ask the same for yourself. Do not walk around actively giving others permission to dismiss you. And do not manipulate, by trying indirectly to get what you want. There is a way to be with people you care about that is not overly demanding, yet not dismissive and manipulative. It is by speaking truth.

You may have a longstanding habit of not speaking truth in relationships. Now would be an excellent time to overcome this. And overcoming it begins with observation, with seeing where you are saying "It’s all right" when it is not all right at all. And once you have observed this, fill yourself with courage and begin the journey into personal growth and change, learning to show yourself in all your glory, living with full integrity in your relationships and with yourself, your inner feelings and your outer actions fully congruent.

How free this feels. How easy to walk through life without that conflict. And how easy for the others around you, to actually know how you feel, to be given the chance to treat you well.