Is it time for your adult child to get out of the house and find a career direction? Are you ready for them to get moving but don’t know how much support to give them, or where to draw the line? If you have a boomeranger living at home, you’re not alone. A boomeranger is an adult child who has been to college, graduated and at some point, has moved back in with their parents. When the economy is tough, there is a dramatic increase in the number of boomerangers.
So how much support and help is appropriate to give them in their career search? Where do you draw the line between enabling vs empowering? First of all, it is good for your adult child to have your help and support because this is a new experience for them. They need to know you are on their side and truly want what’s best for them. At the same time you need to be careful. There is a fine line between support and enabling them. You need to make sure that while you are helping them they are still in charge of the process.
Being the parent of a boomeranger can be challenging because you don’t want to do everything for them, and that includes handholding them as they find a career, but you do want to support them. Plus you might get resistance from your child because they don’t want you “butting in”. Other times they might expect you to do everything for them including writing their resume, making phone calls, and networking. Each child is unique. So, how do you know when you are “supporting” them just a little too much?
Here are five things you can do to help your adult child find a career without doing too much of the work for them:
1. Review their resume. You do not want to write it for them, but once it is completed, go over it with them. Give them constructive feedback. If they have problems with formatting, don’t just fix it. Provide them with samples, books, etc.
2. Help them practice for interviews or career fairs. Do not go with them, but you can help them prepare an elevator speech. Talk with them about what they can expect and what they should be looking for at the career fair.
3. Give them networking contacts. It is okay to give your son/daughter information for people they can network with. That’s a great place for them to start networking. But make sure they are the ones doing the contacting and connecting.
4. Don’t be afraid to be the parent. Draw the line, tell them the deal. They need to know they have to take the action steps. Help them with the tools but make sure they are implementing them on their own.
5. Create a financial plan for them living at home with a time frame. Create plans and goals with your son/daughter on what they plan to do about finances. If they are living at home have them pay for part of the bills, give them chores, and assign them responsibilities. Help them to create a plan with realistic goals for progress in their job search.
The most important thing to remember is that your son/daughter needs to learn and grow during this time in their life. Your young adult will not be able to do this if you coddle them. Look at it in this light, your young adult will give a bad impression in the work force if they can’t think or do work on their own. An employer may not even hire them if they feel they can’t handle the responsibility. It can be hard as a parent to let go of your child, but ultimately letting them be independent is in their best interest.
We hope this article has been helpful to you and that your adult child will find a career that fulfills them.
Hallie Crawford, Certified Career Coach
